The Middle Way Is Not the Midpoint

Moderation usually means finding a balance between two extremes, drinking once a week instead of zero times a year or five times daily, looking at lingerie catalogs instead of renting hardcore porn or being completely celibate. However, there are two problems with this approach. First, the extremes are arbitrary. Who sets them? Society? Your whims? There's no systematic way to set the extremes, so there is no systematic way to find the middle point.

Second, attempting to find a midpoint between two extremes actually focuses your attention on the extremes. What am I losing when I move away from the left? What will I miss when I move away from the right?

There is always a second dimension to any continuum, any duality. The Middle Way is not the midpoint on a line segment. Pessimism and optimism are not transcended by finding a middle ground of apathy. It is transcended by dropping expectations and embracing surprise. Expecting the unexpected means being open to life as it comes and not contracting around a fantasy.

This was very difficult for me to comprehend, being raised in a dualistic society. At first, I saw only black and white. I learned about grays later, but that was still limited. I would ask the Dharma master, "How do you notice jealousy and neither dwell on it nor repress it?" thinking that there was a moderate response in between those extremes. The answer lies outside the continuum, not in the middle. He responded, "Acknowledge the feeling, just watch it. It will pass on its own." In other words, witness the emotion as an event passing through you rather than a tug of war pulling you in two directions.