Upaya Means Skillful Means

The Buddha taught different things to different people because he could see their differences and could customize his teaching for the person and situation. The whole idea of non-self to me is such a customization designed for his mother culture Hinduism, which places an emphasis on finding the self, atman. I liken it to Nietzsche proclaiming "God is dead." I don't think Nietzsche really thought God was alive in the first place, but his message was encapsulated in a metaphor that made sense at the time.

In one story, Buddha saw a bunch of his students doing a bunch of different practices. One was counting his breath, another was contemplating a mantra, another was chanting, another was meditatively sweeping the floor, another was doing kind acts, another was bowing, etc. He saw this and said, "Good!" He saw that there were many vehicles, many Dharma doors, and there was no need to force everyone into one boat. Similarly, I believe everyone doing their thing is fulfilling their dharma. If I wish to help someone become more clear sighted, I must closely observe their path and suggest directions from their perspective instead of mine. Going north from here might put one face to face with an impassable mountain. Going north from there might take one to a meadow.